What Legacy Forum #3 Taught Us About Caring for the Caregiver
Reflections from Legacy Forum #3: Caring for Yourself While Caring for Others | September 23, 2026
Caregivers spend so much time thinking about what someone else needs.
Did they take their medication? Is the next appointment scheduled? Who will stay with them while I run an errand? What happens if their condition changes? What needs to be handled today?
At Legacy Forum #3: Caring for Yourself While Caring for Others, Compassion by Design asked caregivers to consider another question:
What do I need in order to keep caring, too?
The conversation reminded us that caregiver wellbeing is not something to address only after exhaustion sets in. It is part of caregiving itself.
Through the Prepared Caregiver Corner™, the featured presentation by Dionna Jones, MSW, the conversation facilitated by Ebony Travis-Tichenor, MBA, PHR, and reflections from Compassion by Design Founder & Executive Director Treceia Bazemore, several important lessons emerged.
Lesson 1: Self-Care Is Part of the Care Plan
One of the strongest lessons from Legacy Forum #3 was also one of the simplest:
Caring for yourself is not separate from caregiving. It is part of caregiving.
Caregivers are often encouraged to practice self-care, but that advice can feel unrealistic when the day is already filled with appointments, responsibilities, work, family, and unexpected needs.
The forum challenged us to think about self-care differently.
It does not always mean a vacation, a spa day, or several uninterrupted hours to yourself. Sometimes it means eating a real meal. Drinking enough water. Going outside. Keeping your own medical appointment. Getting some rest. Calling a friend. Asking someone else to handle one task.
Small actions matter because caregiving requires physical, emotional, and mental capacity.
Taking care of that capacity is not selfish. It helps make caregiving more sustainable.
Lesson 2: Pay Attention Before You Reach Empty
Dionna Jones encouraged caregivers to recognize signs that their own capacity may be declining.
Exhaustion, poor sleep, headaches, irritability, low energy, difficulty concentrating, disengagement, and feeling less effective can all be signals that something needs attention.
The lesson was not to wait until everything becomes overwhelming.
Instead, caregivers can begin noticing their own patterns and asking:
What is my body telling me? What is my stress telling me? What needs to change before I reach my limit?
Rest, nourishment, movement, connection, time outside, and recovery are not rewards that must be earned after everything else has been completed.
They are ways of restoring the capacity caregiving continually draws upon.
Lesson 3: Boundaries Protect What Matters
One of the most memorable statements of the evening came from Dionna:
“Every yes you give is a no to something else, so you have to prioritize.”
That idea changes the way we think about boundaries.
Caregivers may feel pressure to say yes—to relatives, appointments, requests, work obligations, community commitments, and the person receiving care. But time and energy are limited resources.
Every commitment uses some of both.
Dionna offered another helpful reframe:
“Boundaries are not barriers. They're just guardrails.”
A boundary does not mean a caregiver loves someone less. It helps protect the caregiver's time, energy, health, relationships, and ability to continue showing up.
Before automatically saying yes, caregivers can pause.
Check the calendar. Consider current responsibilities. Ask whether something truly requires your involvement. Think about what will have to move—or disappear—if another commitment is added.
Sometimes the healthiest answer is yes.
Sometimes it is no.
Sometimes it is, “I can help, but not in that way.”
Lesson 4: Asking for Help Works Better When the Ask Is Specific
Many caregivers hear some version of:
“Let me know if you need anything.”
But turning that offer into actual support can be difficult.
Legacy Forum #3 reminded us that support becomes more useful when the request becomes specific.
Instead of saying, “I need help,” a caregiver might ask someone to pick up groceries, provide transportation to an appointment, sit with a loved one for two hours, make a phone call, prepare a meal, or handle a particular errand.
Dionna summarized the principle clearly:
“Support is strength. It's not a sign of weakness.”
Building a circle of support also means learning who can reliably help with different kinds of needs.
One person does not have to do everything—and neither does the caregiver.
Lesson 5: Sometimes a Caregiver Wants to Be Family Again
During the facilitated conversation, Ebony Travis-Tichenor shared a reflection that captured something caregivers do not always say aloud:
“Sometimes I just wanna be a daughter, and unfortunately, I just can't be just a daughter.”
Caregiving can change relationships.
A daughter becomes an advocate. A spouse becomes a medication manager. A sibling becomes an appointment coordinator. A grandchild becomes the person making phone calls and keeping records.
Those responsibilities may be necessary, but they can sometimes overshadow the relationship that existed before caregiving entered the picture.
Legacy Forum #3 reminded us to acknowledge that tension.
Caregivers are not only caregivers.
They are daughters, sons, spouses, partners, siblings, parents, grandparents, friends, professionals, neighbors—and individuals with identities and lives of their own.
Protecting space for those relationships matters, too.
Lesson 6: Preparedness Includes Preparing for the Caregiver's Needs
The Prepared Caregiver Corner™ expanded the evening's discussion beyond traditional ideas of emergency preparedness.
Emergency planning often focuses on the person receiving care: medications, medical equipment, documents, mobility needs, transportation, food, communication, and emergency supplies.
Those things are essential.
But caregivers also need to ask:
What happens if I cannot provide care tomorrow?
Who knows the routine? Who has the necessary information? Where are important documents stored? Who can step in? Does someone else know the medications, providers, appointments, preferences, and emergency contacts?
During the Prepared Caregiver Corner™, two independent emergency-preparedness resources recommended by Sharron Williams, BSN, RN, the program's Prepared Caregiver Corner™ expert and resource recommender, helped participants think about emergency kits and inclusive planning.
The larger lesson was important:
Caregiver wellbeing and emergency preparedness are connected.
Preparing for an emergency means preparing for the possibility that the caregiver may also need help.
Lesson 7: Self-Care Has to Become a Practice, Not an Occasional Rescue
Another useful takeaway from Dionna's presentation was the idea of creating rhythms of care.
Instead of waiting for burnout and then trying to recover, caregivers can build wellbeing into daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annual routines.
Daily care might include hydration, meals, movement, medication, rest, or a few quiet minutes.
Weekly care might mean protecting personal time or connecting with someone supportive.
Monthly or quarterly check-ins can provide an opportunity to ask:
What is working? What is draining me? What can I stop doing? Where do I need help?
And annual care includes keeping preventive health appointments and making space for meaningful rest and restoration.
There is no universal caregiver self-care schedule.
The goal is to create something realistic enough to continue.
The Biggest Lesson: Start With One Thing
Legacy Forum #3 did not end by asking caregivers to completely redesign their lives.
Instead, Treceia Bazemore invited participants to identify one thing they could do to care for themselves during the coming week.
That matters.
Caregivers already carry enough pressure. Self-care should not become another impossible standard they feel they are failing to meet.
Maybe your one thing is making an appointment you have postponed.
Maybe it is asking your sibling for two hours of help.
Maybe it is taking a walk.
Maybe it is saying no.
Maybe it is going to bed earlier.
Maybe it is calling someone and admitting, “I need some help.”
As Treceia reminded participants:
“No matter how big or how small it is, that step counts.”
What We Carry Forward
Legacy Forum #3 reinforced something Compassion by Design believes deeply: caregivers deserve care, too.
Not eventually.
Not only when they reach exhaustion.
Not only after everyone else's needs have been met.
Now.
Caregiving can be an expression of extraordinary love, commitment, and responsibility. But sustaining that care requires recognizing the caregiver as a whole person whose health, relationships, emotions, needs, and future matter.
So after Legacy Forum #3, perhaps the most important question is not simply:
How can I keep doing everything that needs to be done?
Perhaps it is:
What do I need so that I can continue caring without losing myself in the process?
And then, rather than trying to solve everything at once, choose one answer.
Start there.
Continue the Conversation
Visit the Golden Circle of Care Hub for caregiver resources, emergency-preparedness tools, printable guides, and information designed to help caregivers feel more informed, supported, and prepared.
For emergency preparedness, caregivers can also explore Ready.gov resources on building an emergency kit and planning for individual needs.
Legacy Forum educational content and resources are intended for general information and do not replace individualized medical, mental health, legal, or emergency advice. Consult appropriate qualified professionals and the care recipient's healthcare team when individualized guidance is needed.